| 'Diane' | |
| |
| Brand: | Sharp Carousel |
|---|---|
| First Experiment: | #19 - Light bulb, toothpaste, soy sauce |
| Last Experiment: | #44 - Dynamite |
| Total Experiments: | 26 |
| Ultimate fate: | Dead (Retired) |
| Preceded by: | Unnamed |
| Succeeded by: | Sandra |
Diane was the second microwave ever used on the microwave show. She was also the first one who got a name. This was not right from the beginning, she was named officially in episode 30. With 26 episodes Diane is the longest-lasting microwave ever in the history of the show. In a lot of the episodes of Diane's duration of the show, Jory declared Diane the love of his life, and even though it was silly, we can come to a basis conclusion that Diane was Jory's inanimate love interest. Interestingly enough, she was the last microwave to have been started by the remote arm (in the season debut).
Diane was Jory's first true microwave love. He had Unnamed before Diane, but Jory never officially declared his love for a microwave girl until Diane came along. Giving Diane a name was the most powerful declaration of love for Diane. Jory was with Diane longer than any other microwave girl- a whole 26 episodes. Throughout season 2, the two were inseparable. Jory was entranced by Diane's lovely hair that blew in the breeze and her expensive new dresses that definitely earned her the title of being a Sharp microwave. The "Lady in Red" gave Jory the exciting results of the egg, the Ivory soap, the lighter, and the Axe body spray. Things couldn't have been better.
But for some reason, between the end of season 2 in the JCML 2.0 and the filming of the season 2 finale, the two love birds had a big falling out. The result of their break-up ended with Jory blowing Diane up with dynamite for episode #44. His description of Diane went from "Lady in Red" to "dirtier than a Mexican hooker." Jory said in episode #62 that Diane was so heavy, and that's why he left her. It also was probably because Diane was a snobby bitch who always had to have her own way.
Naturally, Jory moved on and got over Diane. He found the beautiful Sandra for season 3, and the two were great for each other. But not only was Diane enraged from Jory dynamiting her, she certainly wouldn't stand for Jory having anybody else, especially another Sharp carousel girl. Diane got her chance to seek her revenge in episode #62. Jon and Jory wanted to stop the many requests that they "microwave a microwave," so they decided to take Diane's dynamited parts and microwave them inside Sandra. This should have been Sandra's crowning moment, but little did she know that Diane wasn't really dead. Her ghost still resided in her destroyed parts, and when placed inside Sandra, Diane's spirit rose up to wreak havoc. Sandra was quickly killed, the first microwave to ever die unintentionally.
Retirement[]
Her official retirement followed after experiment 44. She was blown up in this experiment and that marked her retirement. Diane was killed, but she didn't die actually. In experiment 62 her power was proven when her spirit killed her successor, Sandra. After this massive act, Diane was retired for good.
Diane did 26 experiments, held up strong with the impact of a quarter stick of dynamite and she successfully absorbed the power of another microwave as well. This makes her THE strongest microwave, to ever appear on the show.
Some say that the spirit of Diane is still haunting the lab and that is why no microwave has lasted as long as she did.