This is a compilation of full biographies about each microwave's distinct personality and unique characteristics, as created by "Live Time" moderator Hypercoaster. PER HYPERCOASTER: Please contact Hypercoaster before adding anything to this page.
Unnamed Microwave had the least personality of all of the microwaves, but this is because she wasn't given a name to build a story off of. However, Jory called her a "trusty steed," and this really did describe her. Unnamed was the first in a line of Sharp Carousel microwaves to be battleworn from microwaving items that shouldn't be microwaved. She obliged Jon and Jory's wishes and stuck through until the end of season one. She got the job done without complaints. This might be because she craved attention; she had been thrown out in the trash before Jon and Jory recovered her. She probably agreed to the insanity of microwaving things that shouldn't be microwaved because she wanted some love after being carelessly thrown in the trash. Little is known about her past and her identity, including her name. Jon said that he would go back and name her Betsy, something "short and sweet and fun and cute, to fit her personality." So, clearly, Jon feels that she was all of these things. (Jory said that he wouldn't go back and name her; he loved her "just the way she [was]".) Even though she wasn't said to have a relationship with Jory, she probably was sort of like a short-term fling. After all, she did microwave a condom. She also had a suckish popcorn setting (she ended up burning the popcorn that was microwaved), and she was Susan's identical twin sister.
Diane just seemed to have an attitude, like she thought she was better than everyone else and was more sophisticated. Maybe this is because she was the first named microwave, meaning that she was Jory's "first love." She was the first one where a microwave sexual relationship was implied. Ezra announced in the deodorant episode, "I don't think that's the first time you've gotten white stuff all over Diane, right, Jory?" She microwaved Jory's six-inch banana, peck of grapes, and roasted nuts. Jon then said when Jory was chopping up Diane's remains in episode #62 and was unscrewing her bolts, "Jory screws Diane! Where have I seen this before?" She seems like she was a catty rich girl. She was "the Lady in Red," and Jory once said that she was "looking sharp today, it must be a new dress or something." Diane probably bought that dress with Daddy's credit card. Jory also said that her hair "blows in the wind." Probably from riding around in a fancy convertible. Diane is the only microwave who Jory voluntarily killed. Diane was still working when they blew her up with dynamite. Diane probably dumped Jory, and to get back at her for his broken heart, Jory destroyed her. He also called her “dirtier than a Mexican hooker” in this episode, not a favorable description. In episode #62, Jory said, that Diane was "so heavy--that's why I left her!" But it fits her personality that Diane would be cold-hearted and leave Jory, not the other way around.
After Diane's death, along came Sandra. Jory called Sandra a bitch after her death, and this really was a good description of her. She was bitchy. But it was in a different way than Diane. Sandra just seemed moody and volatile; Diane, on the other hand, was bitchy in a snooty way. The reason that Jory said Sandra was a bitch is because she only worked when SHE wanted to. Sandra was busted when they bought her, so Jory often had to hit her repeatedly to start her up. Her timer didn't work, either. It didn't show the numbers properly, and "when it got down past a minute, it didn't even say what time it was." She sort of had a permanent case of PMS: Pissy Microwave Syndrome. Sandra seemed to love Jory, but she liked being pampered. If she didn't get proper pampering, she'd pout and not work. For example, she "prefer[red] carnations instead of roses." Jory probably bought her roses once, and she probably threw a fit. She did cooperate enough to hold the record of most consecutive "good idea" verdicts (5) from seasons 3-9, though.
Diane died from the dynamite experiment. Ezra said that Jory "risked his life for his love." But Jory moved on quickly and got Sandra. He once introduced Sandra by saying, "This is Sandra, and she's better than Diane..." Well, needless to say that Diane didn't like this, and she sought her revenge. When Sandra microwaved Diane's dynamited remains in "microwave-on-microwave action," Sandra ended up dying. Jory summed up what happened very nicely: "Jealousy, people--jealousy will kill ya!" Obviously, Diane's spirit from the microwave grave came back to kill Sandra. If Diane couldn't have Jory, no microwave could...
Then along came Austrian-born Helga, who was a "big ol' lady." Helga was a bundle of love. She was friendly and cheerful. She didn't exactly have the best track record (13 out of her 15 experiments were "bad ideas", the most bad ideas to date), but she made all of her episodes fun and enjoyable. This is because she was a "bad-ass woman." Her experiments were hilarious and bad-ass themselves. The main thing about Helga is that she loved food. She remains the biggest of all of the microwaves, and she even destroyed Gobstoppers, which are seemingly "everlasting," because of how she was a "big girl, and big girls like food." Helga seemed like this plus-sized homemaker who loved to eat and cook. Helga seemed more interested in food than in sex. She was probably the least sexual of all of the microwaves. This might be because Jory revealed in the NiCd battery episode that he "just [couldn't] keep it up in this microwave." Jory did love her, though. Helga was nice and fun, unlike Sandra and her moods. Jory once said that he loved Helga because her "display works, and there's a button to open the door. That's something Sandra could never give to me!" She probably was a really family-oriented microwave; she had two sisters named Olga and Gretchen, of whom nothing is known about. One interesting thing about her is that Helga remains the only microwave used in more than one season. Helga couldn't stand pain, though. Her plate broke from the intense heat of microwaving the NiCd batteries.
She returned for season 4. With this she was carried over to the next season! However: fireworks inside of her became fatal for Helga. She made history for being the only microwave to be taken to the next season, but could not enjoy this for long. However: she also became the first microwave to get a funeral montage. Hopefully this mellows Helga's painful death...
Lacey, the first GE, was next, and like Diane, she seemed to have an attitude. However, Lacey's attitude was different than Diane's was. Lacey was a prissy, stuck-up goody-goody. Jory described her as being "petite and kind of cute," and she relished in being the smallest of all of the microwaves, which was what made her "cute." And Jon said that Lacey didn't "plasma on the first date." She thought she was more virtuous than the other microwaves, like a virginal girl-next-door type. But was she really all that virtuous? She microwaved a pregnancy test. It did come back as "invalid," but still, we can't forget about the mess the mini marshmallows left. It "looked like an attack Spiderman would use on the Hobgoblin... Or Mary Jane..." Lacey was retired at the end of season four. It's no wonder that she didn't die- she only had a handful of exciting experiments (i.e. the iPods). Towards the end of her run, her experiments' results were dull and unexciting. Her goody-two-shoe ways stopped her from having fun.
Jory got Vanessa next, and what can be said for this microwave besides that she was an extremely lame loser? Jory said Vanessa had him "at 'hello'," but really, he picked up the first microwave he could to replace Lacey. He didn't care about her. He even forgot her name in her second episode. Many people on the comments say that Vanessa committed suicide in the Obama/McCain episode because of how Jory forgot her name. This is highly amusing and plausible. Jory was disappointed in Vanessa after her death. There was no mourning involved- he couldn't believe that she only lasted two episodes, and that she died on a rather benign experiment. Vanessa probably did commit suicide. She knew how lame she was and how nobody loved her. She was the least self-confident of all of the microwaves and certainly the least interesting. What is really funny is that she is the only microwave since Helga (when the tradition started) that has not received a funeral or retirement video. Nobody WANTS to remember her! However, a fan took the time to make Samantha a makeshift retirement video after season 7 had started. OentOent created a Funeral montage of her about two years after.
Tracy, "a honky-tonk girl," was Jory's first black microwave. She also was the first blatant microwave pyromaniac. Most of her experiments caught on fire and did little else. Jon said that Tracy herself was "on fire all of the time." Tracy was hot but somewhat unobtrusive. She sort of stayed in the background, did what she was told, and didn't really do anything out of the ordinary. Tracy also was a fan of technology. Many of her experiments were computer parts or electronics. Her love of fire and technology was her downfall, though- the burning digital camera killed her.
Along came Whoopi, another black microwave and the first Panasonic. Whoopi was booty-licious. She had "more junk in da trunk." Whoopi was a fun-loving microwave; all of her experiments were hilarious. Even though she had lots of fun, she was the most safety cautious of all of the microwaves- whenever things got too hot/dangerous, her safety device would turn her off. This eventually led to her getting axed during the spray paint episode. But when she let loose, Whoopi made for a good time. She probably was an activist for black microwave rights, too, as she made the crew know during the microwaving of the African-American light bulb. "Whoopi's black, too--she knows what this is about!" Jon said. One weird thing about Whoopi is that, while she had a "turbo defrost" setting, she didn't have a plus-30 second button to add time to her, so Jon said, "What kind of microwave is this, Whoopi?!" But Whoopi didn't care if they thought she was different; she just focused on making everyone have a good time. Her comedic, good-natured personality probably came from the fact that her name was inspired by comedienne Whoopi Goldberg. One thing we found out about Whoopi is that her name is officially "Whoopi Caron"; Jory explained that he makes the microwaves take his last name before he kills them. The microwaves are refused pre-nups, though. Oh, and as a side note: Whoopi is kinky and likes strap-ons. She also likes pottery.
Jasmine, or "Lexi" as she was first known, really heated up things in more ways than one. She was the first black GE microwave, but Jasmine was probably Arab and not African-American, since Jory and Jon named her after Jasmine in Aladdin. And Jasmine Microwave was much like Jasmine from Aladdin: sexy, beautiful, and exotic. She was so hot that she actually melted herself from the spray paint episode. Snow needed to be thrown on Jasmine to cool down her inherent sexiness. Jasmine had a twisted side to her, though. She was both a "freak" and a "zombie." After she died from the spray paint, she still kept going on fire. She was also covered in red spray paint blood after her death. She "went out before her time," though, so who knows what other creepy things she was capable of?
Susan was the first microwave to kick off the Jory Caron Laboratory 2.5. Jory called her a "firecracker," and Susan did jumpstart her microwaving career with sexiness. She was the first to see Riley's "2.5" pelvic thrust, and Jory had trouble fitting the X-Box 360 inside of her because "that [was] a tight, tight fit- just like Susan!" Susan just seemed like a nice girl who got along with everybody. Sadly, though, she died from her first experiment, so we didn't get to know much about her. She wasn't declared dead until the intro after her first experiment, however. She also was Unnamed's identical twin sister.
Beatrice was a "whole lotta woman," and that is a very good way to describe her. She was a real gem, and she died far too young. She had two great experiments, and she seemed to be a very sweet, wholesome microwave. She was sweet in a good way, not a stuck-up way like Lacey. Riley commented on how "clean" she was. Jory defended her honor- when Jon thought Jory was going to call Beatrice a whore when he started saying "whole lotta woman," Jory said, "Don't talk to my microwave like that!" Beatrice may have been sweet on the outside, but she had a darker side to her. The Hannah Montana pen almost took Jory's hand off, and the lipo battery was a "deadly idea." Beatrice had a lot of potential to have died after only two experiments, and she knew this- that is why, when Jackie's first plate broke and was replaced by Beatrice's old plate, Beatrice's spirit (much like Diane's) came back to haunt the laboratory. Beatrice's plate broke under the heat of the Silly Putty. It was sort of like Beatrice wanted to ruin Jackie's performance. Beatrice was a perfectionist driven to extremes, like an "I-must-make-straight-'A's-or-I-have-nothing-to-live-for" type. Both of her experiments were epic and hilarious, but they ended badly and weren't "perfect." This probably killed Beatrice on the inside.
The 12th microwave of Jory's was Jackie, the "Queen of the Sluts." And, boy, was she ever a slut! Named after her Jack-o-Lantern tramp-stamp, Jackie microwaved a dildo, had her touch-button door "fingered" by Riley, had a microwave orgasm (when she whirred and Riley said, "I've never heard that sound before!" to which Jory replied, "Well, you've never played around with microwaves, then..."), and she was literally filthy, so much so that Riley repeatedly called her a "dirty girl." But despite being unabashedly slutty, Jackie was a lot of fun. She helped make season six the best and funniest season. And Jackie was such a "trooper." She was the third-longest-living microwave, and everything she microwaved caught on fire and had the potential to kill her. She went through two plates and still wasn't deterred. She only died because the slot machine was left in too long. She really was "the faithful one," and her determination, good-natured attitude, and interesting microwave experiments all explain why she was "Jack-a-licious." Jackie really belonged to all of the crew, though. She really wasn't just Jory's microwave. Jon said that Jackie was his favorite, and Riley wrote: "Jackie ♥" on her door in one episode. Jory didn't show jealousy towards the others' affection for Jackie, but that was probably because Jackie was a slut and liked being passed around. Since Jackie's death, Jory has announced that Jackie was his favorite microwave of all.
Samantha, or "Sammy Samsung" as she is also known, was the very definition of "cool." She was a very laid-back microwave, calm and collected. She was probably a hip California blonde. She was the first microwave to ever indicate the microwaved item in her display, when her fish setting was used for the Big Mouth Billy Bass. She might have been "the bastard child of the microwave family," but she didn't let that get to her. She microwaved her experiments with her head held high, and while it was doubtful that anyone could ever hold a candle to Jackie, she performed quite well, proving that even microwave bastards can have some success in life.
Summer Microwave really stirred things up. She almost killed Jory with the explosion of the air bag. Jory said that the smaller microwaves were some of the best performers, and Riley agreed, saying that the smaller ones were the craziest, giving "more room in bed." Well, Summer certainly was the craziest. Nobody knows why Summer exploded so violently, but it is most likely that she just couldn't handle the pressure of being the star attraction. She had a nervous breakdown and never will be used again. But Summer did not have any devious plans. She never intended to hurt the crew; she just acted for her own benefit without thinking of the consequence it would have for others, and this led to trouble. She also was Erin and Rapunzel's identical triplet.
Penny came along afterwards. She was a fairly quiet, unimposing microwave who "served [Jory] well." She was not a "penny-pincher or a penny-pusher." Penny was sort of an immature, childish jokester in pigtails. She microwaved lots of gag items and toys, like the fake dog sh*t and the NES/Atari consoles. And when microwaving the iPhone, she was going to trick Riley and microwave his good iPhone instead of the donated one. She was sort of like an annoying sibling who always teased you. While people liked Penny, everyone couldn't wait until she was retired so they could meet Zelda. Even Jory was getting tired of how long she hung around. Penny seemed to know that she couldn't live up to the legacy of the air bag experiment, and many fans probably feel that she was an inadequate microwave. However, Penny did not seem to be jealous of this. She probably was very aware of her inadequacy, but she happily microwaved any object that she got, even if they weren't as exciting as the air bag. Penny was also Jory's fourth black microwave, and she had lots of unusual microwave features, like a "4 mugs" beverage setting, telling you to "press start" once the time was entered, saying, "enjoy your food" when the time had ended, and "25 pounds" for meat setting.
Cinnamon, "the spice of life," was Jory's next love. Not much was known about her, but she seemed to have had quite the dirty, wild past. Riley commented on how dirty she was when they first used her. When Jon said that they had bought her used, Riley said, "Where was this used? Vietnam?!" Jory then said, "Saigon!" The funny thing is that she may not have been used at all. There is strong evidence that she, not her identical twin, Gladys, was Jon's old microwave that he donated for use in season 7 (Jory commented on how Jon didn't clean his microwave in the donation video, and Gladys was spotless for her debut), but regardless of this, she had a dirty past long before she ever was in Jon's possession. Jon also revealed that "Cinnamon" was chosen for a name because it's a stripper's name. That's right. Cinnamon was a stripper. This "Stripper from Saigon" was revealed by Jory to have "danced" and to have "gone around." Around what, you may ask? Around a pole! Unlike Jackie, who was a total slut but didn't flaunt her slutiness, Cinnamon's whore-ish ways were very "in your face." She wanted all to know how X-rated she was. This was shown in how she had a duck orgy in her the very first episode she was used in. Even Jackie waited awhile before she did sexual acts on the show.
Then, Jory got Candy, the first Chefmate microwave, who he said was a "dime a dozen." She really was a dime-store hooker. She was a one-night stand who didn't take her job as Jory's love seriously. While Vanessa will always be the lamest microwave, Candy is by far the most disappointing. Not only was she the one with the fan-hated sodium bulb "express episode", but she also had the most disappointing and inexcusable death of all of the microwaves. Death by Legos, and they didn't even catch fire?! Candy, you can do better than that! Her death was unexcuseable, and many fans were angered by her death by legos. She may have been "beautiful on the inside and out", but she proved that looks aren't everything...
Zelda, the first Kenmore, debuted a little more than halfway through season 7, but her name and microwave identity both were known about from the beginning of the season; every time a microwave died, fans kept hoping Zelda would be used next. She created a lot of buzz by being the first red microwave, as well as being the first microwave to not be named by Jory, Jon, or Riley. (The person who donated her named her; Jon thought up Jasmine's name, and Riley named Jackie after seeing the pumpkin sticker she had.) "Zelda Rose" seemed to be an elegant, sophisticated microwave who was wrapped in mystery. Having known about her presence before her debut also added to this element of mystery she had. She was "red and spotless", and she did "everything perfectly." She was probably a classy, wealthy broad from the 20s or 30s, someone who would go to fancy bars and clubs and sip cocktails all night. We do know that Zelda could hold her liquor, and, being from the old-school world of class, she preferred classic gin-and-vermouth martinis over vodka ones; this is why she microwaved the bottle of gin. Unfortunately, she was killed by a flaming television in episode #195.
A native of Indianapolis, Melissa, who was "reliable and attractive', was the first GoldStar Intellowave even-heat system microwave. She also was the microwave with the "presh vegetable" typo on her panel. Jory said that she would "always be a gold star in [his] book." She may not get a gold star for spelling, but that didn't stop Jory from making her his girlfriend. Melissa was another fairly unimposing microwave. At first, she wasn't even the object of Jory's sexual affection. He said that he "could tell we're gonna be friends." Just friends?! Probably what happened is that, because most of the season 7 "dime a dozen" girls died quickly or were total slutty one-night stands, Jory took caution with Melissa and didn't rush into anything. But Jory did eventually say that he loved her, and when Melissa's plate broke from the rocket engines and was replaced with what is thought to be Candy's old plate, she started showing off her sexier side. The first episode after Candy the hooker's plate was in her, Melissa showed off her boobs in the time display. This sexy streak didn't last long, however. After only two episodes, the copper wire and solder broke Candy's replacement plate.
Having missed Cinnamon's saucy ways, Jory's next girl was Gladys, Cinnamon's identical twin sister. Cinnamon is the older of the two, by four minutes. That is why she was microwave #16 and Gladys was #20. Gladys also had the past of a stripper, but she didn't flaunt her slutiness nearly as much as her sister. Cinnamon and Gladys probably had a twin stripper burlesque stage act that they did together, similar to Velma and Veronica Kelly's sister act in Chicago. They probably went by the stage name of the "Sharp Stripper Twins." But where's evidence that Gladys was a stripper, too? Jory said how Gladys "peeled like an onion" after the spinning firework went off. What did she peel off? Her clothes! Yes, even when she was dying, Gladys couldn't resist stripping for her audience. When things get hot, Gladys takes things off. Gladys seemed very quiet, and we didn't get to know much about her, but she probably always played second fiddle to Cinnamon. But Gladys got the last laugh- she stole Jory after Cinnamon's death. She also "brought [Jory] back to [his] roots," continuing his love affair with Sharp Carousels, a brand that, in season 7, only the Sharp Stripper Twins belonged to.
Erin came along and finished off season 7. Her quick death helped cement season 7 as being the season with the most one-night stands. Erin was 100% Irish, and her full name was Erin O'Patrick McIlwain Caron. She used her luck o' the Irish to win Jory and get lucky with him every night. Erin was a white GE that was a very similar model to Jackie. Erin and Jackie probably were good friends, because Erin was the sluttiest microwave since Jackie. She had the strap-on ties that Whoopi and Jasmine favored, she microwaved the phallic-shaped spray paint can cocked on its side, and her experiment was declared to be "too hot for YouTube." Yes, Jackie and the dildo is the only other episode deemed too hot for YouTube. Erin probably heard that Jory's second-favorite microwave was Jasmine, after Erin's good friend Jackie, and Erin probably wanted to do a repeat of the spray paint can to show up Jasmine's performance. And that she did. Jasmine's spray paint-induced fire went out on its own and was quickly cooled by snow, whereas Erin remained on fire after being doused with water several times. She also was Summer and Rapunzel's identical triplet.
Sarah was the first season 8 microwave. She was a "feisty one." Jory originally was going to name her "Shaniqua", but Jon didn't know how to spell that and forced Jory to change her name. This ended up affecting Sarah's mental health. After her first episode, Jory and Riley kept giving her a different, similar-sounding name every time they introduced her. This caused Sarah to develop Dissociative Identity Disorder, more commonly known as Multiple Personality Disorder. Sarah only appeared as herself in her first and her last episode, where she was killed. Her alter personalities were present in all of her other episodes. Her alters were (in order of appearance): Sahara, Sandra, Shauna, Selia, Samantha, Sindy, and Seamus. Clearly, the Sandra and Samantha personalities were Sarah's attempts to get Jory to love her as deeply as he had loved the original Sandra and Samantha. Evidence that these alter personalities were based off of past loves? Sarah had a broken light, making her the first operating microwave since Sandra to have defects, and Sarah was brilliantly colored after the food coloring, the first microwave since Sandra to have had such pretty insides. And Jory said that food coloring would be good to microwave in a bastard microwave right before he called Sarah "Samantha", and we all know that Samantha was the "bastard child of the microwave family."
Margaret came after Sarah. Jory thought she was a "good-lookin' girl." Many gangsters thought so, too, as she was a flapper "broad" from the 20s who associated with many of the most famous hitmen of the age. Margaret seems to have been a gangster girl from Boston, though, not Chicago, as Jory and Riley often said her name in a thick Boston accent. Margaret's gangster lifestyle got her in trouble at the end. While attempting to rob a bank armed with smoke bombs and a "bang" gun, she died a painful death; Jory didn't notice she died until afterwards.
Margaret II followed Margaret. Her real name is unknown. Jory called her "the second", because it was easier for him to remember her name that way, having just lost a lover named "Margaret." So, Margaret and Margaret II are not related; Margaret II is not Margaret's daughter. She was a "little stuck-up", according to Jory. However, overall, she was very easy to please. This part of her personality showed through in her letting Jory call her whatever he liked, so long as it made him happy. The most memorable thing about Margaret II was that she died in several episodes but was resurrected and came back to life on her own. Jory called her a "saint" because of this holy event, and all three of the guys agreed that Margaret II made season 8 the holiest season of all. Jon officially named Margaret II the "heartiest" microwave of all: she survived a broken plate (without a replacement plate, to boot), a melted door, a melted interior, and even death. In the season 8 finale, all three guys concluded that, having risen more than twice, St. Margaret II is holier than Jesus. She clearly had some mysterious holy powers, and Jory claimed that she's even personally talked to God. One such death and resurrection occurred in the season 8 finale, prompting Margaret II to ultimately be considered retired. The most amazing thing about Margaret's resurrection experiences is that she actually was dead and gone for a period of time. After her first resurrection during the Wii episode, Jon noted that she came back to life only seconds before she was going to be retired. Each subsequent time, Jory and Riley revived her in some way. This proves that, unlike Diane with the Axe can and Whoopi with the thermite, Margaret II really did stop functioning, and did not merely turn off for safety reasons. This only makes her resurrections more incredible. Interestingly, for such a holy girl, Margaret II also was one of the only microwave girls known to have a sexual relationship with someone other than Jory. In the Klondike bar episode, Jory said that the Klondike made a total of 4 mysterious white goos in Margaret II, in addition to the bag of goo, himself, and Riley.
Justine, from the guys' live microwave performance at VidCon, came next. She was technically used between seasons 8 and 9, since VidCon took place after the filming of season 8. She was named after popular YouTube star iJustine. She initially was going to be called "Ellie", and then, "Michelle." Riley thought up the name "Justine." She was a one-time use and will not be in season 9. Justine microwaved light bulbs, the guys' trademark experiment, for 69 seconds; the crowd picked the microwave time. She was an Emerson microwave that the guys bought on Craig's List the day before the VidCon performance. After the performance, one-night stand Justine was promptly dumped on the curb, by the District Lines booth and she got no retirement montage. YouTube user OentOent made a retirement montage for Justine on his channel. Justine was said to be an Emerson in the video, but upon further investigation, it has been found that she was actually a Sharp. Jon may have just forgotten to change from Margaret II's label of "Emerson" to "Sharp" while editing.
The first microwave girl in the JCML 3.0 was Marissa. Little is known about Marissa, but she appears to have been a very persnickety girl. Jory said that she got extremely upset when somebody misspelled her name with more than one "R." He said that Marissa would "kill you" if somebody spelled her name wrong. Marissa had a lot of firsts. She was the first white Kenmore and the first Jewish microwave girl. She also was the first microwave girl to go plateless for her first experiments. Jory didn't add her plate until the Zhu Zhu Pets; when he came back with her plate, he said he was able to find the correct plate because "I know them [the microwave girls] inside AND out... But mostly inside!" But most importantly, she was the first microwave to neither die (in the strictest sense) nor be retired. At the end of her third experiment, she was still working but her light was broken. Jory likened her to being in a vegetative state, and declared that they should give her a "fade out" and pull the plug on her. Riley said this was because her "light's out upstairs," indicating that she had no brain activity left. They did pull the plug on her, and Marissa went to the grave. Her corpse had the honor of being a part of the series finale microwave pyramid.
Cindy came next, the first Sunbeam ever used. On her debut, Riley remarked what a "fast turner" she was, and Jory concurred that she was very "fast." This shows how Cindy both was easy and efficient at her job. The latter attribute is especially important, considering that she only was a 700-watt microwave. (In comparison, Sandra was a 1200-watt microwave.) Jory commented on how sh*tty Cindy's power was when he first saw her "700-watt" sticker during the live show filming. Cindy was from the 50s. This is why she loved Back to the Future so much, and the reason her plate spun so much and so fast is because she loved to hula hoop. Cindy also was fast in how much time she spent in the JCML. After her second experiment, Cindy was determined to be "undead" when her plate kept spinning after being turned off, so they disposed of her. Jory called her a zombie, but the only true zombie microwave was Jasmine. Cindy's plate spinning after being turned off makes her much more like The Exorcist than a zombie. She was possessed, and by who? Well, none other than Diane's ghost. Still haunting the JCML 3.0, Diane's ghost waited until somebody other than Jory hosted and made her move. Unlike other times, she was unable to kill the microwave girl; she only succeeded in haunting poor Cindy for the rest of eternity. Jon said he didn't want a paradox on his hands in the DeLorean episode, but he got one anyway, the dead, yet undead Cindy. She was sent away to have Diane's ghost removed from her. Cindy did return, though- her corpse had the honor of being a part of the series finale microwave pyramid.
Esmeralda, the 28th microwave was "seasoned, a little older," according to Riley. Jory called her a "spicy meatball." She also was an exotic gypsy like Esmeralda from Hunchback of Notre Dame. She can do gypsy magic, which is why she was elected to do the Harry Potter figurines. She became even more magical after microwaving the smoke detector, thereby becoming radioactive. Little is known about her mysterious powers. She held a seance inside of herself while microwaving Harry Potter, hence the candles and Ouija board. She also had dark magic on her side, evidenced by microwaving Harry Potter for 6:66. She could even be a Horcrux, according to firetruckprime. It is very likely that, if she had been a Hogwarts student, she would have been a Slytherin, teaming up with Voldemort to burn Harry to an untimely death. She also microwaved Twilight figures for Jon's 666th upload. Esmeralda went through quite a lot of damage. First, her plate broke after microwaving the Reddi Whip, and her display came off in the smoke detector episode. How these incidents happened is also a mystery. But what is most of a mystery is Esmeralda's death. During the intro to the Flip camera, she made an odd clicking sound, turned off, and died. Jon blamed himself for Esmeralda's death, since he was the sidekick, but it wasn't his fault. After all, Samantha didn't die when he was sidekick. Too many things about Esmeralda just could not be explained. While this is the second time a microwave girl has been declared dead during the intro (the first time being with Susan and the Hannah Montana pen), this was the first time a microwave girl actually died before an experiment began. She probably died because when she saw the Flip camera was going inside her, she had a heart attack because she thought of microwaving such a crappy camera. Penelope was just ignorant and she didn't pay attention to what was being microwaved.
Penelope, a shy and quiet girl, replaced Esmeralda only minutes after Esmeralda's death. When Penelope was set up, Jory said that he had already forgotten the previous microwave's (Esmeralda) name because of how much he loved Penelope alraedy, which prompted Jon to call Jory a "whore." Jory named her after Penelope Cruz, and he delighted in the fact that she came with a sexy top vent. Despite her top vent, Penelope got very little attention from the guys, due to her being a boring, mousy-type of microwave. She rarely said or did anything. In the box of wine episode, though, she randomly started beeping, which was most likely her copying Margaret II's holy beeping as a way to get attention. Penelope also copied Margaret II in that, like Margaret II, she had 17 total experiments. Penelope was so dull and boring that, not only did she fail to make a car battery have exciting results, her dullness was confirmed by her obtaining a "boring idea" with the magic grow animals. Most fans hated her because of how her filthiness prevented them from properly seeing the microwaving. Due to the fact that the guys chose to microwave tampons after the lava lamp exploded, Penelope is the first microwave girl known to have a menstrual cycle. While many viewers joked about Sandra menstruating in the season 3 lava lamp comments, it was not official from Jon and Jory, unlike Penelope. Jory didn't want to kiss Penelope under imaginary mistletoe in the Christmas tree episode, saying she was too "bloody." When Hypercoaster remarked in the live chat during the Christmas tree editing, "Why does Penelope get no love?!" Jon responded with, "Because she's a WHORE, obviously!" Penelope ended up being retired, but she won't be in season 10, no matter what. Her contract ran out after season 9, and she was so dirty that Jory didn't want her.
Rapunzel, a white GE, was the first girl in the JCML 3.5. Riley picked her up from the house where she was bought, and she got her princess-like name from Jon. Jory was goofing around from an upstairs window, telling Riley that he'd "let down his hair," and that Riley should throw the microwave he picked up to Jory. Because of this, Jon said her name would be Rapunzel. During her first introduction, Riley said that this "hot mama" looked like she was in a "very tall tower, with long hair." Jory warned Riley against putting "your microwave on a pedestal," probably because he didn't want Rapunzel to get the idea that she was going to be treated like the princess she was named after. Like Zelda, Rapunzel was a drunk and microwaved liquor on her first experiment. Jory and Riley brought her a bottle of champagne when they first climbed up "the ladder of her love." But was Rapunzel a classy drunk like Zelda when she was "christened" with the champagne? No. Rapunzel didn't even microwave Dom Perignon, just some ghetto champagne imported from Italy. Rapunzel further showed what a sloppy drunk she was in the baby food episode. Jory wanted the baby food to look like puking from The Exorcist, but that only would have happened with Cindy. Instead, Rapunzel puked her guts out from her wild night with the champagne. Her golden hair also was gone in this episode, left with blackened locks. Presumably, Rapunzel died her hair its signature golden color, and she was too hungover in this episode to care about her black roots showing. Jon said that she was a "dirty girl," and that he didn't think her "hair [was] the only thing she let down," meaning that she was loose. She was thought to have died after the champagne bottle, her first experiment, since her second experiment (safety vests) weren't doing anything. Rather than throw her away too quickly, the guys decided to test her with a CD to see if she worked, much like what they did when Sandra died in season 3. It was found that Rapunzel did microwave the CD, so she was used for the safety vests (with a lighter added for excitement) and baby food. The live stream ended before baby food was completed, as the guys needed to recharge camera batteries. Rapunzel was switched out for Beth/Miss Havisham for the air bag, sparing her life, as she was far too drunk to drive. She was brought back for the next experiment (the hookah), but she was so stoned that she didn't make anything interesting happen. After the Easter basket, which she did because she had the munchies, she was retired because she was too dark inside. She had a serious drug and alcohol problem, so she was sent to the Betty Ford Clinic for detox after retirement. For the gasoline experiment, since Gabrielle had just died, they didn't want to waste a brand-new girl on an experiment they knew would probably kill a girl, so they brought back Rapunzel, who was just home from rehab. Sadly, though, Rapunzel didn't stay sober, and her relapse made her drink and drive and crash into a gasoline tanker truck. Rapunzel, who was Summer and Erin's identical triplet, is the only girl to have ever been switched out for an experiment and brought back later. She is also the only girl to have been declared retired to have been back later for a dangerous experiment and then declared dead.
This very old microwave was donated in season 7 by Ziphorah14 and NoNameRockBand. When they donated her, they put a sticker on it that said "Beth," to indicate what they had named her. However, Jory didn't see the sticker right away, and he said that "Miss Havisham" would be a great name for "that old piece of sh*t." She was a GoldStar, which comes as no surprise, since Jon made a comment in the season 7 donation video about finding a "nice little surprise in GoldStar right at the end there." Jory said in season 10 (during Rapunzel's run) that they tested her out with a CD after she was donated, to see if she worked, and she did indeed work. So, she was used for the Hyundai air bag, because the guys didn't want to waste Rapunzel, a young girl in her prime, on an experiment that would end in certain death. Beth/Miss Havisham was old, crappy, and worth sacrificing. She was so old that she came with an old-fashioned dial rather than an electronic panel, and supposedly had mold inside of her. Jory called her a "cougar" because of how old she was, and due to her greath wealth, he also said how she was a "sugar mama." However, when Riley found the dial after the air bag explosion, he found out that Beth/Miss Havisham's birthday was February 1988. So, she might have been a cougar in microwave years, but in human years, she was actually younger than Jory, who was born in 1987. Perhaps, though, she had a love for both Jory and Riley, as she was indeed 3 years older than Riley. Despite her age, she fared much better from the air bag than Summer did, and she actually lasted about half a second longer than Summer did. Jory was even able to put her somewhat back together again post-explosion. Her door's glass didn't even break, and her dial still made a "dinging" sound. She was killed when a drunk Rapunzel crashed her car into her Hyundai.
Felicia was the girl who performed at Playlist Live. She microwaved 10 Dixon Ticonderoga #2 pencils in the Jory Caron Crystal Ballroom 1.0 at the Mariott Hotel where the Playlist Live convention was held. She hadn't been tested prior to the actual experiment. It was unknown if she was going to work properly or not. She was an odd-looking Sharp carousel whose buttons were on top. Jon called her a "tricky little microwave" because of her unusual buttons, and he liked the way she was built. Riley said he preferred buttons to be on bottom, though. Riley suggested to name her Felicia, and Jory liked this idea, because it sounds like "fellatio." Jory put out Felicia's fire with his microwave T-shirt. Felicia was retired after her performance and left in the Marriott. What better place for a girl to retire than Florida? Other than her preferred sex positions (fellatio and girl on top), not much was known about Felicia. She got the first "sketchy idea," though, so chances are that she wasn't a microwave girl who could be trusted. She kept guarded secrets and didn't let us know much about her true self. She also was a member of the "Sharp Platinum collection" according to the bottom of her door, and her display was broken when she performed at Playlist Live.
The second GoldStar of season 10, Gabrielle started off her career by showing off how different she is from girls of the past. Jory and Riley chose to microwave the carrot with her "fresh vegetable" setting, and this made Gabrielle proud, because HER "fresh vegetable" setting was spelled correctly, unlike Melissa's. Also, Gabrielle broke the long-standing tradition of having all produce experiments be "good ideas." She daringly said that the carrot was a "bad idea." She also was the first microwave girl without a push-button door or a typical handle door. The part of her door where she was opened didn't even look like a door. Gabrielle really valued her individuality, so much so that she even chose to have her name misspelled as "Gabriele" in her debut episode, so as to appear even more unique. During the big bag of chips episode, Jory decided to give Gabrielle the nickname "Gabby," so it would be easier for him to remember her name. In response to Jory having difficulty yet again remembering Gabrielle's name, Jon said that the microwaves are all "a dime a dozen now." Candy was a dime a dozen, not Gabrielle. She was insulted that she was compared to somebody as worthless as Candy, and she was determined to show that she was serious about her job as Jory's love, unlike Candy. Sadly, Gabby kept getting insulted. Riley called her an "ugly bitch," saying that they needed to microwave make-up in Gabby to make her pretty. Jory laughed at this and did not defend his girl, even though, seconds before, he claimed to want the best for all of his microwaves. Gabby knew she wasn't the prettiest of the microwave girls, but she tried to make up for this by choosing a career as a beautician, to make other microwaves gorgeous. This is why Gabby microwaved both the mannequin head and the make-up. Gabby also wanted to prove herself worthy as a microwave after she was called "ugly." Her fierce determination and ambition ended up paying off. She ended up breaking Sandra's long-standing record of most "good idea" verdicts in a row, with a total of 6! For some reason, though, despite Gabby breaking Sandra's record and her being a very nice girl, she was not treated nicely on the set. When most girls are discovered to be dead, the guys usually exhibit shock and some sadness, but when Gabby died from the airsoft gun, Riley actually yelled at her, "F*ck you, Gabby!" It wasn't bad enough that her last experiment ended up being a "bad idea," breaking her winning streak, but she was given even more cruelty. Poor Gabby did not deserve such poor treatment throughout her run, and her legacy of holding the "good idea" record will forever make her an important microwave in the show's history, despite her not being well-liked on set. She also was Shelley's identical twin, and Gabby's corpse had the honor of being a part of the series finale microwave pyramid. Shelley and Gabby were the only two microwave sisters to ever get to appear together in the same experiment.
Gina, the 34th microwave on the show, was a real intellectual girl. She was a lover of the printed word, and she greatly enjoyed reading anything she could get her hands on. Being both a bookworm and a college student, Gina chose to microwave a Twilight book and highlighters for her first experiment. It was found that she came with an instruction manual inside of her, which Jory found when he first opened her. Studious Gina wanted to be sure that Jory took the time to figure out everything about her. To Gina's dismay, Jory just tossed the manual aside, claiming to know everything there is to know about microwaves, and figured out how to work Gina by trial and error. Interestingly, Riley picked Gina's name seemingly out of the blue, and Jory liked the name so much that he stuck with it. Riley may have chosen Gina's name by going along with Jory's sometimes-used pattern of giving microwave girls names that start with the first letter of their brand. Being a GE, Gina fits this pattern. Riley called Gina a "devil," because, in the Twilight/highlighter episode, he thought he had turned her off but she still kept going. It's not that Gina was possessed like Cindy was. It's just that, being so intelligent, figuring out how she worked really was a lot more complex than with other girls. Jory also had trouble figuring out how to start her. They should have read the manual she provided! Sadly, Gina died from the diaper, which was only her second experiment. Riley hosted this episode with Jon as sidekick, and Riley let Jon talk him into letting the experiment go longer than it should have, which killed Gina. Interestingly, though, it was learned that Gina did not wear diapers when she was a baby microwave. This is because she was so intelligent that, when she was born, she was already potty-trained Of all the microwave girls, Hypercoaster feels she is the most connected to Gina, both because she is also a bookworm like Gina and she was the one to suggest re-visiting Jory's season 3 highlighter/book suggestion for a season 10 experiment. Gina's corpse had the honor of being a part of the series finale microwave pyramid.
Shelley the Smoker was the third GoldStar brand microwave used in season 10, which had the most GoldStars of any season. Jory called her their "pride of joy microwave," and he also said that she was a "good girl." Shelley was Gabby's identical twin, just like how Cinnamon and Gladys from season 7 were identical twins. While Cinnamon and Gladys were quite alike in their personalities, Gabrielle and Shelley couldn't have been more different. Gabby was an independent, hardworking girl who took her microwaving job seriously. Shelley was a chain-smoking "sloppy second" slut who smelled like a trampy bar; she preferred to smoke Camel-brand cigarettes. Her nicotine addiction was very obvious from her start on the show, as her walls were yellowed from constant cigarette use from the beginning. Shelley used her microwaving abilities to smoke a pack of cigarettes at a TIME, far beyond merely smoking a pack a day. Before Rapunzel, the queen of substance abuse, died, she and Shelley used to have a blast together going out to smoke-filled bars and clubs to get wasted every night. Like Rapunzel, Shelley enjoyed her liquor. This is why she microwaved Listerine, a quick way to get lots of alcohol in one's system. Another evidence of Shelley being a total bar skank is that, sometime in her life, she went ahead and got 34 DD-size breast implants, just so she could go topless at clubs while partying. Shelley's "big knockers" CAN'T be real, since her twin sister, Gabby, never was said to have an above-average breast size. After Shelley went topless in the lab and microwaved one of her leopard-print bras, she was retired for being too dirty, just like what originally happened to her good friend, Rapunzel. But, just like Rapunzel, Shelley was brought back to continue her job after retirement. She had the honor of microwaving the propane tank for the series finale. This was a real thrill for Shelley, because smoking propane is far more of a rush than smoking nicotine. As if the propane weren't enough, Ryan shot her repeatedly to try and end the massive fire. It's really a good thing that Shelley died for episode #300. She undoubtedly had emphysema from her excessive chain smoking, so she probably would have died soon, anyway.
Emily, the first black/chrome microwave of season 10, was the second Emerson the guys used. However, unlike holy and virtuous St. Margaret II, Emily was a huge slut. All she cared about was getting big loads of meat inside of her for satisfaction. Emily also derived enormous pleasure from eating good ol' artery-clogging bacon. She proudly boasted that her watt sticker's heat/energy waves really represented bacon strips. Emily would do anything to get bacon strips, including strip for Jory, but when bacon wasn't available, any type of greasy food would do. Emily was in heaven when she microwaved the hair spray bottle in a container of oil. Not only was this fattening oil a good substitute for bacon, Jon said after the experiment that the remains looked like "jizz." So, this satisfied Emily's cravings for both grease and sex. All of this bacon love made Emily in very poor health. Not only did she have a huge gush of bacon grease drip off of her plate, but she was only a 900-watt microwave. In comparison, Sandra was 1200 watts, and Cindy was 700 watts. Emily constantly flirted danger by eating endless supplies of bacon and being such a big girl for her 900-watt heart to properly support. Emily also had a sticker on her that said: "For service, please e-mail us at Internet@EmersonRadio.com." Emily ended up dying from the Justin Bieber doll, despite the doll never even catching on fire. This was because Emily's weak, artery-clogged heart could not tolerate hearing Bieber's horrible singing while inside of her. She had a massive heart attack, quickly went into cardiac arrest (and a coma, according to Jon), and she died of atherosclerosis-induced Bieber Fever. Her corpse had the honor of being a part of the series finale microwave pyramid.
Nearing the end of season 10, the lab was brightened up by Heather, the first Hamilton Beach microwave. Jory said he never did a girl named Heather before, so bringing in Miss Hamilton Beach to give many Shake Weight hand jobs was a good decision. Jon questioned whether Hamilton Beach was a place in New Hampshire, which means that Heather probably hailed from a sea-faring, preppy town in New England. Having the Shake Weight as her first experiment showed her passion for health and fitness, as well as for sex. This is why she loved the beach so much, a place where she could have sun, exercise, and sex all in one. There is little doubt that Heather was a proud member of some New England yacht club, and her unique appearance and background made her quite the talk of the town. Jory, Jon, and Riley all were clearly impressed with her at the beginning; Jon remarked about how he had never seen a Hamilton Beach microwave girl before, and he wanted Heather to stay around the lab a while and not die quickly. And Jory only found Heather more intriguing after the Shake Weight experiment, when a "cool" ring design was found left on her plate. Adding to her intrigue was when Heather froze during the last experiment in the JCML. While microwaving a microwave detector, Heather's clock stopped at 40 seconds. She didn't die, nor did she turn off for safety, a la Whoopi. Jory was excited by this, saying that this meant that Heather would "never age," and he could "live with her forever." Unfortunately, Heather did not live forever, being sacrificed as part one of the epic series finale when she was violently blown apart by a firework mortar. Thankfully, though, before her explosive death, Jory and Riley were sweet enough to write "R&J♥" on the inside of her door.
To celebrate Christmas 2011, the guys debuted their first official post-season 10 episode with the first-ever Rival brand microwave, Rhianna. Jory christened the Rival girl after the famous R&B singer because he and Riley found her in a "hopeless place." And like her singer namesake, Rhianna was a spoiled snob. This attention whore strutted around with her snowflake door bling, feeling extra special to be Jory's first official post-season 10 love. She got to roast Jory's chestnuts over an open fire and had him nipping at her like Jack Frost nips at your nose, but attitude and rhinestones don't mean a girl's got what it takes to survive the JCML. Rhianna slowly burned to the ground and almost started a forest fire, softly crying out, "SOS, someone help me!" This one of "Santa's reindeer" got run down just like ol' Grandma. Guess we all know who didn't win THIS game of Russian roulette...
Jory won a new phone in a contest, so he decided to microwave his old one in a special bonus episode. He chose to do so in a beautiful Magic Chef named Ivanka. Just by her name, you can tell how sophisticated this European girl is. This "classy woman" was the most expensive microwave ever used thus far. She was bought at retail price at a Home Depot only hours before the experiment, and she quickly moved into a swanky penthouse apartment-type abode made out of a grill in Jory's backyard. Riley said that this grill also served as a hat for Ivanka when it got cold. Ivanka was sort of like a Gabor sister- rich, foreign, sophisticated, and gorgeous. Ivanka's high-tech panel, full of buttons and whistles from Saks' Fifth Avenue, confused Jory, and like with Gina, he and Riley had to resort to reading her manual in order to start her up. The guys said that they wanted to get Ivanka pregnant by microwaving with virtually no safety precautions and microwaving her manual along with the phone, and this is because Jory wanted to have his genes passed on to a microwave baby that had a lot of inheritance money. But Ivanka was no fool. All her fancy bells and whistles enabled her to keep from getting knocked-up. What specifically was her anti-pregnancy device? On the bottom of her panel, underneath her "stop" and "start" button, she had a design of circles of various sizes. These circles really were birth control pills that monitored various times within her fertile cycle. Instead of having her own offspring with Jory, Ivanka chose to give her money to Uncultured and the children in Bangladesh. Ivanka returned for Halloween 2012 to microwave real pig eyeballs and two porcupine quills taken from a roadkill porcupine. All this viscera inside her showed what a "dirty, dirty girl" she was, and we learned that she always has to microwave things on her "express cook" setting. At Christmas Eve Ivanka was run over by the sleigh of Santa. It looked like she was killed on impact. She wasn't however, but she ended up in a coma. With Ivanka in hospital everybody is hoping and praying for resuscitation of the beautiful girl. Over seven months later she finally revived and at the moment the doctor fired Ivanka from the hospital, she immediately hurried to the guys to do the stress ball experiment. It appeared however that Ivanka wasn't completely recovered yet from her collision. At the moment the guys started her up, Ivanka fell back into her coma, slipped into a deep sleep and never woke up again...
As part of the live performances of Playlist Live 2012, the guys microwaved light bulbs in a beautiful black GE Spacemaker XL-1400 named Phyllis. Riley said that her name was chosen because she wanted to "fill us with light bulbs." Jory said that he found Phyllis all on his own in the hotel kitchen once in Orlando. Playlist Live was supposed to provide a microwave for the guys, but they did not do so, and Jory went on a search and came across Phyllis all by himself. It was destiny and love at first sight. He said that the "minute I saw her, I knew I had to have her!" Although they weren't together long before the performance, Jory was quite impressed and smitten with Phyllis. He called her "the most beautiful microwave I have ever seen," and her light was so bright and full of "power" that he asked the crowd to give her a round of applause. "She's a woman who can COOK!" Jory declared. At the end of the performance, Riley carried Phyllis off the stage, where she commenced in her luxury Florida hotel retirement.
Jon has announced that there was a microwave named Bertha from season six who never got to microwave anything. She was used as a graphic for the theme song in seasons 6-8 & 10, but she never actually got to be used in season six, because they found out she was not functional. Jory said she turned on but didn't microwave. She would have been used after Jackie; a picture Jon took during filming shows that the slot machine, the item that killed Jackie, was to the right of Bertha. So, the first item she was meant to microwave was the Big Mouth Billy Bass. She was a GE Spacemaker XL1800, a chrome over-the-range microwave. Jon bought Bertha at a flea market, and when the guys found out she was broken, Jon returned her to the flea market and got all of his money back.
Jory gave this name to a microwave in a YouTube-video where guys were microwaving a box of wine. He says the whole video is fake. This microwave is unofficial, because the guys never used her and therefore never made it in one of the actual experiments. Also: it is unknown if Andrea really exploded, or even died, because her whole video turned out to be fake.
Olga, Helga's older sister, was sent to the guys for season 9. Hypercoaster found Olga abandoned at a flea market, having traveled from Austria en route to meet her true love, Jory. So, Hypercoaster bought Olga and sent her on her way to the JCML 3.0. Like Sandra, she was a 1200-watt microwave. Jory called her a "big ol' bundle of joy." Sadly, Olga's light did not work, so she was not used in season 9. However, an intro to the unbagged popcorn episode was shot with Olga before the boys found out her light was busted. Thus, Olga was meant to be used after Cindy and before Esmeralda. When the guys tried to use Olga, they found out that her display was also broken and looked much like Sandra's. This proves that Jory was right that "Helga's the biggest, Helga's the best." Do you remember Helga's beautifully clear display? Jon had hoped to reincarnate Olga's spirit into a new microwave girl in season 10, but it never came to pass. The original, season 9 Olga was a huge black Sharp Carousel.
Gretchen is Helga's younger sister. She is also from Austria, just like her older sisters, Helga and Olga. Rumor has it that Gretchen was the girl who performed at the microwave show live performance at VidCon 2011. She microwaved flash paper and tin foil in an homage to season 6 sweetheart, Samantha. (She also microwaved popcorn.) Gretchen was a very old-fashioned MicroFridge brand microwave with a dial. She only came to America shortly before her VidCon debut, and she still embraced the traditions of the old country very much. However, one tradition she had to give up from the start was her purity. In order to afford a passport to America, as well as avoiding immediate deportation, Gretchen had to sell her body to VidCon. Hank Green bought Gretchen for the VidCon performance, but in order to get to fulfill her dream of being Jory's love, she also had to microwave for an act named Sorted Foods right before the ideo gang made it on the stage. In spite of all of this, Gretchen quickly took to her microwave profession, dazzling the audience with the flash paper. Unfortunately, Gretchen tried to dazzle a bit too much and got carried away, causing the fire marshal to cut her performance short. Gretchen wasn't a Sharp carousel brand like her sisters, which must mean that Gretchen is Helga and Olga's HALF-sister. Microwave brand, just like biological sex, is genetically determined by the father. So, if Gretchen wasn't a Sharp, this means that she couldn't have had the same father as Olga and Helga. Regardless, the three sisters were very close and loved one another dearly. Gretchen was retired shortly after her VidCon performance, left to enjoy the rest of her life in LA knowing that she got to complete the dream of being loved by Jory just like her sisters had been.
Nothing is known about her at this time. Hopefully she'll be used on the show someday, so we can finally have a face to put with the name.
Melinda (no season)
Melinda is the microwave Riley used to microwave a whole load of Peeps in a video on his channel and then again to microwave a birthday cake for his 19th (he didn't state the melinda name on this vid though). He named her himself. She appears to have been a model very similar to Beatrice.